For the last couple of years I've chosen a word that I would have been my word for the year, and honestly I haven't been very good at working on them. But recently I found a quote on Pinterest, my latest Addiction). Somehow I can't find the quote to even post it, I apparently didn't pin it. But it was basically like this, you choose to be happy, you choose to sad, you choose to be offended, and you choose to be helpful, what is your choice. This last year I had several experiences where I choose to take offense and honestly it made me an unhappy person many times. So when I read this quote several nights ago it made me think, and for some reason it didn't get out of my head. So I figured I would make these my words of the year; choices and happiness. This year I'm going to try to focus on the fact that I make my own choices. I may not be able to control others reactions, but I'm going to choose to be happy. Now I realize that I'm human and I realize that I definitely am not perfect but the Lord gave me one of the most prized gifts on this world and that is the gift of choice.
So how am I going to do this, the first way is to let go of some of the offenses that I've been holding onto, and an example of that for me is letting go of the fact that somebody once laid me off from a job where I felt like I was better qualified than the others that they chose to keep. Since then I have really had to hold my tongue to not say mean and hurtful things about that company and I've been holding that grudge for a long time. It is time to let that go, especially since I now have a job that I absolutely love, working with people who are amazing. So why hold onto that I don't know, so I've decided that I just have to say "BYE."
As I write this I think of Corey. Today is his Dad's Birthday and even though Corey and his Dad may not have been on the best terms when Les died I still haven't heard Corey say any true mean words about his father. He has told me how he felt when certain things happened, and how he was disappointed and hurt and yet I haven't ever heard him say mean words. That is something that I need to do.
As I got to thinking about it, I tried to find the quote again, and to my avail I still haven't been able to find it, but of course that meant that I read many general conference talks on forgiveness and taking offense off LDS.org, and now I have a whole slew of them. But by far my favorite was by Elder David Bednar, he is normally my favorite anyways but his talk back in 2006 entitled "And Nothing Shall Offend Them" was just incredible and probably exactly what I needed to hear this past week.
"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."
"You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. However, we do determine how we will act. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended."
"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, “it mattereth not.” http://lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/and-nothing-shall-offend-them?lang=eng
So for me I've decided that I will try to be better at not taking offense. I know I'm not perfect and I'm bound to at least offend one more person in my lifetime, and probably will still take offense every once in a while. But I can choose to let things go, I can choose to not stress over the little things, because in the long run those just distract me from doing more to improve myself and to help and take care of my family, because they are truly what is important to me. And this is not to say that I won't say anything to those who are influencing my mood for the worse. As a friend once told me as I was complaining about a person that I was a "friend" with on Facebook. This person would only post comments that were controversial and many times would be offensive to those reading, and well it was no fun to read. My close friend reminded me that I didn't have to be "friends" with her on Facebook, and subject myself to the feelings and emotions that those posts made me feel, I could simply de-friend her, since it was obvious that this girl wasn't someone that I wanted to hang out with. I do have a choice to be happy and to let things go, or remove myself from certain situations. Life is hard, but as the saying goes "I never said it would be easy I only said it would be worth it." And even though my life isn't easy I would definitely say it is worth it, especially my family makes all those hard times worth it. So there is my goal, who knows how I'll do about it, but well I can at least try. You never get anywhere if you never try.
1 comment:
What a great goal! You inspire me. :)
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