It has been ten years since that day that completely changed our country. It sometimes seems so long ago, yet I remember that day so vividly that when I think about it, it feels just like yesterday. I thought that I would post my memories of the Day here so that I had a record of it for my children. This is not meant to be a downer post just the ability for me to share with posterity how I felt on that day. I realize that just as I would talk to my grandparents about World War 2 and the great depression, my kids and grandkids would probably ask me about September 11, 2001.
That morning I was living in Logan, Utah a Junior attending Utah State University and I worked as an Intern at the local Merrill Lynch branch. I had to be to work at 8:00am so I normally was up way before my other roommates. I always turned the radio on in my bathroom and listened to music as I was getting ready for my day. I remember listening to radio wondering what was going on as there was no music playing. As I started listening more intently I realized that they were describing the terrible horrific event of the planes crashing into the World Trade Centers. Now because of the time difference many of the events of that day had already occurred before I even woke up that morning. My first reaction was honestly thinking back to my history classes and wondering if this was some weird remake of "War of the Worlds." Finally I got so curious that we out into our living room and turned on the TV only to the horrible pictures of those big sky scrappers on fire. I was just shocked. I stared at the TV forever, it seemed like I couldn't turn away. I had a roommate name Melinda, I honestly can't remember her last name. She was a free spirit type and one of the few direct comments that she made was "Oh, how I wish Al Gore was in office and not George Bush." I remember saying out loud how grateful I was we had Pres. Bush. I remember thinking Oh No, I better get to work, this could be a very crazy day. I got to work and shortly after we were informed that the stock market was closing for security reasons. On our computer screens at work they had a live feed of CNBC pulled up on the computer and I remember all of us just huddled around the computer watching this terrible acts of violence unfold we watched the images of The Pentagon and then heard about United Flight 93. The company I worked for had their national headquarters in New York like so many other companies, but it wasn't until my branch manager told me that our headquarters were actually in The World Trade Center that it hit me that this could affect me more than I thought and would later come to realize. As were watching out computer screen something horrific happened the first tower collapsed and then our computers froze and what was on our computers was just a picture of that very depressing image. I will never forget starting to see it fall like so many others but it stayed permanently on our screens. I was shocked! I couldn't believe what I was watching. I remember thinking how could we the Powerhouse of the world let this happen on our own soil. I remember having feelings of anger and sadness. How could this happen and who could really hate us this much. I've now come to understand and realize just how naive I really was. Shortly after the towers fell we got the call from Salt Lake City that we were to close our doors for the day and we would be given more instructions tomorrow of what to do. So I went home and continued to watch the coverage there. I really don't remember if they still held classes that day, or if I went. I do remember the feeling that I just needed to talk to my family. I just had this overwhelming feeling to let my parents know just how much I loved them. I believe that many of those feelings came from realizing that there were so many people that died that day that didn't get their chance to say goodbye or their chance to say one more time I Love You. In the coming days life slowly came back to normal. The stock market reopened the following Monday, and it was a stressful time at work. Of course this stress didn't affect me directly, but I remember thinking our world will never be the same, and of course it isn't. The following days there was 24/7 coverage of the tragedy and honestly after a while you just had to turn it off, it was just to sad.
We have a new way of life especially when it comes to Air Travel. We will always look differently and I'm sure like many other for at least the first couple of weeks if not for the rest of our lives we will always think just a little bit differently about the sounds of an airplane jet overhead. We seem to be in a never ending state of war fighting those who would want nothing more than to harm this beautiful country that we live in. Now even though those events were so sad there was also stories of heroism, love, and kindness that came out of that day and touched me deeply. I remember hearing for the first time and the acts of the passengers of United Flight 93, they were not going to let these hijackers cause any more pain than they already had, they fought back and ultimately won, even though they lost their lives. I still cry at hearing about the stories of those who talked until batteries died on cell phone with their loved one who were trapped in the towers and the overwhelming sense of love that was given. I was greatly touched by the stories of heroism from the public safety officers of New York. So many lost their lives, but not before they had helped countless others. Now I'm married to a firefighter and it scares me some when I realize and know that he would be one of those that would run into the building no questions asked and he could possibly lose his life, luckily we live in a small town and he is only on a volunteer department, but needless to say he has that type of mentality and yet I love him for that.
I remember finding so much peace from the leaders of the Church afterwords. Their were countless vigils all across the country but a talk by then President Gordon B. Hinckley given at the Tabernacle was particularly touching.
“Dark as is this hour, there is shining through the heavy overcast of fear and anger the solemn and wonderful image of the Son of God, the Savior of the World, the Prince of Peace, the exemplar of universal love, and it is to Him that we look in these circumstances. It was He who gave His life that all might enjoy eternal life” (from an address given on September 11, 2001, in the Tabernacle on Temple Square).
I remember listening so intently to General Conference which was only three weeks after this terrible tragedy and I remember just wanting to feel "safe" I learned that conference that we are the only ones who can make ourselves "safe." We do this by complete obedience to the gospel, by doing the very best we can each day to be a better person and hopefully after a while we start to see a change within our selves. I made a commitment that year that I would always try to say I Love You to those that mean so much to mean every time I talked or visited with them, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
So, what have I learned from 9/11 I learned how short life can be, how much work I had and contine to have ahead of me to become the person that I want to, and most importantly a reminder of how much I love my family.
Oh how this day changed our lives and the world that we now live in this event did change my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, it made it stronger. I was so grateful that I understood the Plan of Salvation and that families could be and were together forever. I remember wishing that I could just tell all those who suffered so much loss and were so sad because they had lost their loved ones so suddenly. That it would be OK and they could see them again. Recently there was an Article written by President Thomas S. Monson in the Washington Post in it he writes:
"If there is a spiritual lesson to be learned from our experience of that fateful day, it may be that we owe to God the same faithfulness that He gives to us. We should strive for steadiness, and for a commitment to God that does not ebb and flow with the years or the crises of our lives. It should not require tragedy for us to remember Him, and we should not be compelled to humility before giving Him our faith and trust. We too should be with Him in every season.
It is constancy that God would have from us. Tragedies are not merely opportunities to give Him a fleeting thought, or for momentary insight to His plan for our happiness. Destruction allows us to rebuild our lives in the way He teaches us, and to become something different than we were. We can make Him the center of our thoughts and His Son, Jesus Christ, the pattern for our behavior. We may not only find faith in God in our sorrow. We may also become faithful to Him in times of calm."
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